IdeaRebel

Get Back To Work Damn It.

2005-11-12T11:59:00.000-05:00

This week's fury stems from blue collar conservatives who rage against unions and their supposed deleterious effects. Once again Republicans have somehow convinced the working populace that the root of social unrest lies in one of their vested interests.

Nothing drove me more nuts when I worked at public school district and to hear blue collar co-workers bitch and moan about teacher unions. The shear irony of the predicament was so blindingly obvious that none of them seemed to realize why they were only earning 27,000 a year!! The job that the GOP has done on this group is truly a fascinating look into how one can make their worst enemy into a rabid follower. Just as George Bush's support relies on southern-state lower income families, he relies on vulnerable zealots who crave dogma.

Life-long-conservative co-workers would roll their eyes at the mention of a union. Sadly the state that I lived in had no union for public school employees and the effects were noticeable. Teachers in this state are paid some of the worst salaries in the country, bottoming out $25,000 a year. Yet this state's constituents are pleased as punch to stand at pulpits in churches and proclaim that our children are the most important things in the world. Are you seeing the double-standard I'm seeing?

White collar aristocrats seem to pick at the issue too, but have no problem not working on the weekend, a concept championed by unions. Nor do the blue-collar conservatives seem to have trouble accepting overtime pay after 40 hours, another issue pushed by unions. When 5PM rolls around, my mindless co-workers Cheri and Ryan had no qualms about darting home, after all they had worked an 8 hour day, another legal victory won by unions. When Julie called in sick and had to undergo surgery, it was employer-paid health care that got her Republican fat-ass better again, yet another Union victory for the working class. My Aunt was a PE teacher and yet she was an anti-unionist. But she never once seemed to complain about the payraises she got thanks to her district's union.

Now I see the dismantling and discrediting of unions left, right and center. And I wonder where we put our brains in the conundrum. Yes it is true that even blue-collar workers that are Republican seem to get angry when a CEO gets an exit package of 25 Million Dollars, but that anger does not equate to a vitriol that I see when Unions win higher wages for the common worker. Carly Fiorina, former CEO of HP, who just got axed walked away with $21,000,000. And this is what they paid to fire her ass!! And we have the horse balls to bite the hands of union organizations. One republican white-collar declared to me that he was sick of unions, like the one at GM, destroying perfectly good companies because of the pension programs they negotiated in the 1970s. To that obnoxious Republican I would say: Didn't GM give their executive staff raises in excess of 15% last year? And you have the gall to lash out at the benefits negotiated to the working class of that company? Now tell me where the "Christian" value of morality lies in that.

The Day I Saw The Sky

2005-10-16T22:14:00.000-05:00

This is the first time in a long while that I saw some form of sunlight. My days at the Apple Store are long and start on rainy mornings. When I emerge from the artificial environs of the mall, the sun has usually gone to bed for the evening. But tonight, I tricked dear old mother nature; caught her off guard. I quietly signaled to my boss that I was going home early and by some small miracle I saw the sun. Well not really. I saw the sky. It was a cloudy platinum color. But I felt alive this evening having witnessed it. Hell, Terry Schiavo probably felt more alive than I do on most days.

This Apple Store is not a beautiful dwelling. It is encased in an ugly mall with walls and no windows. This mall seems a modern day version of, Upton Sinclair's, The Jungle. Standing all day on hard concrete floors with no fresh air and my God, no god-damn windows. The buzzing fluorescent drone is my lifeline to death. It is my belief that Apple's gorgeous flagship stores, like the one in NYC or San Francisco are designed to lure us ignorant, yet zealous blokes into joining the ranks. Once we're in, they send us to less extravagant locales, like Cleveland or Buffalo.

I work at the Genius Bar at the store. Genius Bar is a euphemism for Tech-Support Schlepper. Calling us Genii is a patronizing term which gives people permission to walk all over us, all-the-while complimenting us. This is akin to women in the LDS church. Mormon women, ever hear the self-deprecating expression by fat white LDS (republican of course) men: "men need the priesthood to be equal to their wives"? But I digress.

It is frustrating to see the free help bar, originally intended for Mac users, misused by the mindless throng of iPod users. iPods seem to be a double-edged sword to Apple. It's brought a ton of cash into the company and lots of foot-traffic into the Apple Stores, but iPod users are commodity shoppers. They're mostly the mindless, faceless crowd that view technology in a utilitarian fashion similar to their toasters and DVD players. Macintosh customers, by contrast, are a different breed. They recognize that Apple Computer is a corporation with a heart. Perhaps the only corporation with heart. Not just with cool looking products but products that facilitate the creative process. iPod mother-fuckers don't get this. The hope is, I guess, that some of them will catch on and see the beauty and vision of Steve Jobs/Steve Wozniak, but the reality is that most will just keep fucking up their iPods and expect white glove service.

On a positive note, the job really isn't all that bad. Reasonably friendly coworkers don't get to involved with my business and I reciprocate. I feel like Vincent in the film GATTACA. Just show up for work, do your thing well, and go home. All for a more ambitious goal in mind. Mon Dieu! Que J'etais ange! It is fun to work with people who get orgasmically excited about the newest Apple product releases too!

My capitalist bug of yesteryear is dead I think. Happily, my savings are piling up and I have zero desire to spend a cent. I don't know if it's my desire to not contribute to the economy while the Bush dynasty is in power or if I'm just sick of the shopping orgy that America is.

I met an interesting person at work who loves astrology. He's a dark personality but he asked me when I was born and was surprised to find out that I was an Aries-Taurus cusp. He said it explained a lot of things about my personality whatever that means. My friend Beatrice would love this guy (with blue bangs).

"Morality." Ain't It Grand?

2005-09-20T15:00:00.000-05:00

Mr. Bush refuses to roll back tax cuts for the wealthy even in light of a new 200 billion+ dollar Extreme Makeover for New Orleans. This comes after a 300 billion+ dollar Extreme Makeover last season that's ended in a ratings flop over in Iraq. An encore showing of Extreme Makeover - Bush Edition, will play out next year when the real cost of a flawed Prescription Drug Benefit program weighs in at 1.2 Trillion dollars. I'm not talking Indian Rupees folks, I'm talking US Dollars.

With all of these new expenses on the table, I am now beginning to understand what Bush meant about smaller government and fiscal conservatism. His most eloquent criticism of "nation building" during the 2000 debates with Gore really played out nicely. After all, our efforts in Afghanistan and Iraq aren't nation building so much as they are wealth building for those friends in high places.

Mr. Bush indicates that cuts will be made elsewhere in our federal budget. I suggest the education budget since we're on such a fiscally responsible roll already. I mean public education has gone underfunded for over 40 years now how could pulling the paltry 65 billion dollars the federal government contributes to education hurt schools any further. 23 Billion of this has gone to shore up testing efforts with the ever-essential, No Child Left Behind program. So 65 Billion could go to Hurricane Katrina efforts or into Mr. Bush's PR campaign, whichever will cost more. 65 Billion dollars is small peanuts when you consider that nearly 500 billion is earmarked for military projects. Remember we're talking US greenbacks not Rupees.

The conservative moral message plays out ever so pronounced in this simple arithmetic. Mr. Bush, Mr. Cheney, Dr. Rice say it best with Red, White, and Blue. Wave your flags, honk your horns, slap on the magnetic bumper-sticker ribbons, we're busy supporting FREEDOM! Funding education? Where's the honor in that? I mean what would we be FREEing our kids from? Where's the patriotism in that?

George Bush's favorite commercial between Extreme Makeover episodes is no doubt those Mastercard Ads. Unjustified War in Middle East? 200 Billion Dollars Ill-Conceived Drug Benefit Program? 1.2 Billion Dollars Tax Cuts for the Rich? Priceless For Every Other Real Need, There's Mastercard.

Solitude

2005-09-17T23:38:00.000-05:00

Washington DC is a lonely place. San Francisco is a lonely place. Paris is a lonely place. Indeed a packed subway in NYC is a lonely place when you feel like I do. I've just consumed over 1500 calories worth of food in one sitting staring at the television wondering when I'll feel like all the busy people around me. I'd really like to be this person I see in my mind's-eye who can walk into a club and strike up conversation with whomever. Instead I'm paralyzed in front of reality tv show #25. I'd really like a co-pilot for these times when it gets bumpy...to paraphrase Candice Bergen in a View from the Top.

Details

2005-09-04T21:17:00.000-05:00

I just spoke with a friend who lost a loved one. She struggles with her gift which happens also to be her curse. She's extremely compassionate and empathetic at an almost cellular level. In some ways she is like a companion pet that takes on the misery around themselves to heal others. When others are tense in the room she feels the need to balance this by putting on a happy face and planning a million activities; a knee-jerk reaction but compassionate nonetheless. Some might call this an intense personality to be around, and indeed it is, and others might attribute this to obsessive compulsive disorder, which could certainly be the case as well! But she wouldn't be the person I adore and love (and occasionally avoid for the very same reason) if it weren't for this dichotomy-of-a-trait.

The more I think about this, the more I realize that most of us are obsessive compulsive about something. Whether it's about feeling control over a situation or about how our clothes are folded, we're all a bit freakish and mutant. I think about the great minds that we all revere: Vincent Van Gogh, Marc Chagall, Howard Hughes, Harrison Ford, and so on. They're all thought to have OCD and/or manic-depression. Yet their greatness, discoveries, and moments of genius have come because of their obsessive behavior. I imagine that no great or beautiful thing in this world has come except by the fanatical fixation of an individual. Indeed some of these individuals have refused 'medication' for fear of losing their edge, their gift.

The architects and painters who made the Sistine Chapel, no doubt, tossed in their sleep, laying awake about some detail that only an arachnid might scarcely observe. Yet in the end we all marvel at these wonders, the airplane, a fine film, a concerto, a painting, because someone was nutty!! Hell, washing hands frequently was probably considered quite obsessive in the early 20th century but then again, most people probably thought that peeing out of ones ass was normal!

Gas Price Woes

2005-08-30T09:43:00.000-05:00

Since most every American is belly-aching about fuel prices these days, I thought I'd propose a new energy policy to the public and to 'our man of God,' President Bush.

Perhaps environmentalists have been going about the energy/pollution debate the wrong way. Rather than push for cleaner more efficient alternatives, why not push the other way? No, seriously. America is so completely oblivious or at least apathetic about prices elsewhere in the world, why not give the conservative, big-ass-Truck-loving, Republicans everything they've wanted? Fighting them is like fiddling with a chinese finger toy, the harder you pull, the more stuck you get.

1) Drill in Alaska. Hell Drill everywhere.
The majority of the Alaskan population wants their land raped in exchange for oil revenue. Let's give it to them. And once all the wildlife is dead and all the oil is drained, they can become the next rust-belt of America, the next northern Pennsylvania mining town statistic. This is what they want, right? Utah, a ridiculously conservative 'shiite-Christian' community (aka Fundamentalist-Mindless-Land) seems to support such environmental efforts. They're pissed off at President Clinton for placing so much of their land on the protected federal lands list. I say, we lift the ban. Saw down every tree, drill every ounce of oil from Utah and pollute every lake with mercury and lead deposits. After all, Utah currently enjoys quite a tourist industry for its outdoors including skiing, hiking, camping, fishing, etc. Once their state is ravaged they can then join the ranks of Alaska just like they asked for.

2) Tax incentives for Gas Guzzlers.
We've got this tax-subsidy thing all backwards. We shouldn't be rewarding hybrid owners for their small efforts to contribute to a clean world. This is like rearranging the deck chairs of the Titantic and hey Jesus is coming soon to clean up the mess we're making anyways, ask Pat Robertson or any Republican politician. We ought to be giving tax breaks to people who purchase the most INEFFICIENT vehicles. They're doing the best service to our country. They're the real Patriots in this country. Give the Hummers, the Dodge Ram Pickups, and Suburbans the cash. The faster we can suck up all of the world's fossil fuels the faster we can move on to a true alternative. This is the real beauty and fusion of Conservative and Libertarian values at work to fuck us all, but equitably!

3) Punish Green Corporations
Now, I'll have none of this hiding-behind-altruistic-ethics-to-make-an-extra-buck bullshit. What we need are corporations that are honest and moral, ones that spew toxic waste into our rivers and air in a 21st-century transparent style. Any company found, trying to cut greenhouse gas emissions should swiftly be fined daily until they remove all scrubbers from their smoke stacks. The more hazardous materials that get into our food supply and into the environment the more jobs we'll create. There'll be a stronger demand for hospital beds and ventilators. Cottage-industries will emerge overnight (polluters themselves of course!) that will provide health services to protect us from ourselves! Forget the tech-support jobs being exported to India, all we need is our own waste to save us from this post-Clinton mess we're in. Who did Clinton think he was anyways? Trying to create jobs through innovation! Absurd! Bush has the right idea, we need to reflect on our past values and see what made American corporations king!

These three simple rules are all it would take to turn America around and seize her from the terrorist hands of Liberals!! Arghh!!!!

Seeking Greatness

2005-08-22T01:10:00.000-05:00

I just googled a handful of childhood schoolmates. Perhaps it was an exercise for my own self-esteem, who knows. I am in awe and markedly impressed. My childhood peers have gone on to become finance specialists, engineers, computer geeks, surgeons, and attorneys. I feel numb, simply numb. Is this where I ought to be in life? Like the Jones'? Reminds me a bit of that feeling one gets after watching a great movie and then the credits roll. You almost feel stupid to stand up and enter back into your own world of banal and insignificance after having just seen the extraordinary moments of a giant before your eyes.

In some sense, I guess I've allowed my ideology, or lashing out at others', to take hold and put the rest of me on the back burner. It's that existential crisis again, to be or not to be.

"To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,"

Willy seemed to poke at this question more than a few times. Do I seize the day or cease this day?

Friend Maintenance

2005-08-17T02:14:00.000-05:00

Do we not all keep a bit of ourselves in secrecy so that friends may constantly guess? Perhaps I am a performer and friends are the audience. Seems like a ship-in-a-bottle effect if you ask me, us keeping ourselves partly in the shadows for others to guess as they too perform a similar act to a more highly sought after audience. Conversely, I daydream about loved ones that I have kept incognito about whole parts of my life so that they might enjoy how they know me and what my real ingredients are. Like telling someone that the divine meal they just ate was made from scratch and from all-natural ingredients when in fact you made the whole damn thing from an instant dry packet of Stovetop Stuffing or Hamburger Helper. I've spent so much energy for 20-some-odd years trying to look appealing to others while knowing full well the real cost inside.

I sit here at dinner with friends and strangers trying, yes trying, not to look forced in behavior. Is that not an oxymoron, Trying not to try?

Wings for Ideas

2005-07-27T19:42:00.000-05:00

How on earth is this interesting to anyone else? Can the onlooker really have an interesting thing or two to say? May these entries unleash rage, unseat the incompetent from positions of power, consume oxygen in laughter, and be a shelter in a storm of "puddle" ideas and values.